its boring.. the world is beautiful, but i'm suck here with people and television and trans-fat.. there is no substantial dialogue between us, because there doesn't seem o be anything to say, only things to do.. like work work work, make money, buy shit and be happy that there is work to do in order to make money and buy shit...
i don't want to be here, but i'm stuck.. i tried to escape.. i tried to kill myself, because the mystery of death is more provocative than anything this world has to offer.. but i failed, and fell back into the mess i planned to leave behind, and now i'm too scared to try again.. but i'm here still, without any plans or aspiration..
i'm a slave like everyone else, and all my friends who i love, and the whole world that i love, marching through this stagnant evolution, yielding to false authorities that engineer new ways to reinforce complacency..
anyway, i've been looking for work, wishing it weren't necessary, borrowing $35 for official acknowledgment as a member of a society i would rather not be a part of.. i was wishing i could spend my life pining about how much it sucks, because it i find it relaxing, and it is eco-friendly, and more people need to know that their life truly is pathetic..
because looking at the big picture is taboo, and so is talking about death and how awesome it probably is, and how everyone's religious and political views are wrong, because we don't know how to admit ignorance